If you look up the definition of hope, you will find two variations…
- a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
- a feeling of trust.
Recently one of my favorite yoga teachers mentioned in class that our intention was to focus on the idea of hope. She said she saw a sunrise the other morning that was so amazing. The light was bouncing upward like a spotlight. On seeing this, she was filled with a feeling of joy and hope. I thought about this for days after she said this in class. Reflecting on it, I think this is the first time in my life that I have really experienced that warm feeling deep inside of hope. A little over a year ago (aka when I was still in the corporate world) I would have said that hope was connected to wanting things I thought I deserved. I hope I get that promotion at work. I hope I get a good performance rating. Those were all things that played a part in defining who I was as a person. It is very scary to admit that and feels odd to type it out right now. However, it is true. My ego, how I identified myself, was strongly based in my work performance. It would impact my mood in a very negative way. Any of my “hopes” were connected to a full sentence describing what I wanted or felt that I needed. “I hope I get…<fill in the blank>” That way of seeing the concept of hope was veiled in such gloom that it makes me sad that I ever felt that way. Hope is not about dictating exactly what you want to happen, when you want it to occur and how it should work out. This relates to the first definition of hope that I found doing a search on Google. There is an expectation of a certain thing to happen. This just feels very different than the concept of hope we were using in our yoga class. Plus, when do any of our plans work out exactly 100% like we thought they would?
I prefer the second definition, the feeling of trust. Today I can say that I am starting to understand the true concept of hope. I feel it. It is not connected to wanting something or needing something to happen. It is just a feeling deep inside that burns warm like the sun that everything will work out. The universe will handle it. Things will work out in due time. It is a feeling that makes bad days better and good days fantastic. My focus is to take care of myself and bring in positive energy and do my best. I have hope that it will all work out the way it is meant to be. That does not mean that I am not putting tons of time and effort into my new Etsy shop or into my upcoming yoga teacher training. I think you have to have dedication along with hope to make things happen. I am not defining myself with ratings and titles. I am defining myself with the warm positive energy that I grow with my yoga practice. I have hope in the purest sense. I am not hoping for anything in particular. I just feel hopeful. The best part is that no one can take that feeling away from me.
“I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.” – Nikos Kazantzakis